I've been thinking outside of the box for too long...

....and it shows.

Being the kind of person I am is really getting me into trouble. :-D I realize this now. You don't homeschool, vote differently than your entire family, worship differently than most of your family and think the way I do about most everything and not get into trouble. I wouldn't have it any other way! Really.

It's still about this thing called work. You see, I have been analyzing a few things. I am like that and I don't mind being that way - most of the time.

So, this evening my husband and I were playing Rummikub. During the game, I broached the subject of why I am the way I am. First off, I'm an extrovert who does most of her thinking as she's speaking. That's how extroverts are! But that's not what I wanted to know about. I'm asking him about whether or not I'm argumentative (I already know I am, but in the context in which I was getting at, which had to do with my job at TSC). And I wanted to know what he thinks about the big complaint I hear at work, which is, in a nutshell that I talk back and I shouldn't be. This really bugs me so I've been thinking on it for a while. He's honest with me, so I know I can ask and he'll tell me. I reiterate that I want him to be honest, just in case he's thinking of sparing my feelings this evening.

So this is what I'm thinking. I think that I've been away from the world of "doing-what-is-expected-of-you-without-thinking-for-yourself" for a bit too long...as I am now very sensitive to being mistreated. I guess you could say I have higher expectations than this. When I was a teenaged employee, I resented the way I was treated and had assumed it was because I was a teen. Now I'm 38 and I'm still being treated that way. What gives? Are management that insecure that they need to talk to you like we're 3 years old and we don't know any better? I mean, sheesh, if I am not doing what is expected, then tell me in a review or a meeting or something. Don't talk to me each time I see you like I don't know I need to "keep busy", "look busy" or "should being doing something all of the time". When I hired in, one of my comments during the interview was that I like to "keep busy". What???!? What's that you say? "Keep busy"? So now why in the world would someone need to say that to me? Yes, I find it offensive. And redundent.

Like in my previous post, I mentioned that I was having difficulty with "A" and "D" and being accused of arguing or whatever it was they say I do wrong. Again, I say it's simply not tolerating the way I'm being treated. They say I need to just take what they say, no matter how they say it or who they say it in front of and be a good little employee. Don't think. Just do as they say, when they say and how they say. Is this right? I don't think so.

I'm a darned good worker. I am happy, welcoming to the customers, helpful, always thinking of the situation as the glass-is-half-full. I do my best. I'm honest and forthright. I have never taken as much as a paperclip from work that didn't belong to me. I help my fellow employees and want only what is best for them. I try very hard not to vent or gossip, but have to admit I caught myself a few times. I try to be discerning in all things (which is proving to be the bane of my existence there!), and anticipate other's needs. Do I make mistakes? Sure. We all do. Why would anyone want to cause problems/pick on/or be a butt to an employee such as this? If you can tell me, I will be forever grateful to you!

My husband says that's what happens when you make a little over minimum wage. He says that's how you're probably going to be treated in that type of job. My question is a big huge WHY???? Making a small amount of money is no reason to be abused. I get treated better when I make no money doing something. Oh, that's because those people are hard to come by and my people are a dime a dozen, right? Pfffft! Whatever. I really need God to direct me to my own business. I would run it so differently. I won't treat others according to their earnings or whether or not they can be easily replaced. That's crap. It also shows character. Or shall I say lack thereof?

I like these blogs. I can vent my thoughts. Who cares if it appears that I'm whining? I certainly don't.

Thanks for reading. And as is always my philosophy, if you have a thought to share, some constructive criticism or want to add to this, please feel free to do so. I always welcome honest and intelligent conversation.