My breath fogged up the glass, so I drew a new face and laughed

That's a line from one of my favorite artists, Jason Mraz. I found out about Jason Mraz from another Jason. Castro. In case you don't know who he is (Jason Castro), he was the dreadlocked white boy who ended up #4 in Season 7 of American Idol. Both of them, particularly my fondness of Mr. Mraz's music, causes me to think of how different I am from most people around me.

Why am I writing about this? I'm thinking about how odd I seem to be to others. I always knew I was "different", but until recently I didn't realize just how "odd". I'm sure some don't see me that way, as they are probably just as "odd". I celebrate my oddness, but now I want to understand it! :-) People are usually too nice to tell you what they really think, so I have only had small glimpses here and there over the years. I'm now officially 39 years old and I think I need to know what and how I appear. It's about time, dontcha think?

Kids go through phases where they try things out. They pierce everything, they dye their hair purple, cut it weird and wear strange clothing. I didn't do all of that when I was growing up. I refused to do something to declare myself strange or to fit in. Perhaps that in and of itself is strange. I like to think so. Being YOU is a good way to be strange, especially in the public school setting. I was still trying to figure out who I was. I still am. Now my goal is to figure out how others are seeing me and my unique thought processes. Some just don't like me. Probably because they can't figure me out. I'm okay with that. I wish they took the time to figure me out, but hey, I'm not going to be something I'm not for their sake. I think some get frustrated with me because they give me more credit than I deserve. Like, being sarcastic or manipulating someone or something. I don't do that. (okay, I am sarcastic sometimes, but not all the time).

I think life is best when you think outside the box. Color outside the lines. I LOVE that. I didn't consider myself rebellious as a child, but as an adult I'm bucking the system all the time. In fact, I feel it's our duty to question things. That's how we learn. That's how we grow. I'm not talking about being disrespectful to others. Just ask questions.

I "met up" on Facebook with some people I went to grade school with. That has really shown me how much I have changed. I wrote to an old highschool friend, from 9th grade, and I freaked her out with my life story. I haven't heard from her since. I'm not offended, just confused as to how I could turn out so differently.

What's really funny about all this is, I see myself and motivations so differently from how others apparently see me. I see myself as being intellectually honest. I think of myself as curious and always wanting to learn. I see myself as open and transparent. All of this has led me to a different way of seeing politics, religion, relationships, people, everything.

Using the words of a new favorite speaker in the homeschool community, Todd Wilson: "It's hard but it's GOOD!"

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Since I brought up Jason Mraz, here are two of my favorite songs from his recent album that I treated myself to for my birthday.

A goofy Jason Mraz singing "I'm Yours" (aol sessions studio version):



The official video for "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and featuring Colbie Caillat: